25 Aug My Journey
Where it all began….
Do you ever have those moments where your kinda kicking yourself going is this actually happening?? How the hell did I get to 50K followers on Instagram?!?! That’s where I am! Well let me tell you a little story….
It all started when I got sick. I got a parasite and those little buggers are bad news! They mess with your head as much as your body. While they were destroying me from every inch of my body they severely affected my brain. I can’t even remember the 5 weeks that I was bed bound. It’s all a big blur with small little glimmers of hope mixed in. I had the worst brain fog!! Like next level brain fog! It was a challenge, one I will never forget.
Experiencing a parasite is by far the hardest thing I have ever experienced and let me tell you, I’ve experienced some shit! Nothing has ever shaken me to my core like they did, there were a lot of different factors involved and a lot of different contributing moments that got me to where I was. None of it was ideal but it was what it was, I’m just extremely grateful I’m alive and breathing and I get to cuddle my kids every night. No one wants to say good bye to their kids cos their nearly in a coma. Not part of the plan at all!
Anyway the thing with me is I’ve been fighting the brain game since I was very young and I’d learnt no matter what, you need to feed it positive messages. So in amongst my hell I maintained my brain the best I could. I sat all day and played games on my iPad, I mean all day! Games that didn’t make my brain think too hard but hard enough to stimulate it in some way. Candy Crush anyone?? I remember my husband saying ‘why are you on your iPad so much?’ Little did he know I was fighting the hardest battle of my life. The brain game.
Retraining my brain was no easy feat, I was disaplined, dedicated and never waived. Eventually my strength started to come back and I was starting to get over the games. There’s only so much you can take, well for me anyway. It started to drive me crazy, crazy enough to build my own Insta account. Although I already had my personal one, I wanted one that would inspire me, one that would motivate me and help me heal. They say what you read and see becomes you so I thought why not. I’ve always been a fairly positive person, I’ve done all the motivational courses, read all the books and have kept my mindset in check so I figured this was no different. How right was I! My brain game went up ten notches.
As you’ll see in my Instagram account, many of the images aren’t mine. They’re images that inspire me, motivational quotes and creative leaders. The more I posted the more I started to believe what I was saying. I stalked Pinterest, Facebook and YouTube for inspiration. Then the more I began to fight. Don’t get me wrong I’ve always been a fighter, had the passion of a warrior and learnt to be a survivor. Fiercely protective of love ones and their lives. It’s a natural instinct for me, something I constantly need to keep in check and monitor. We all have our strengths and weakness, constantly learning how to grow and manage them, is the secret. It’s called life.
The Gypsy Mumma Instagram was my outlet to share my feelings. An avenue to express how I really felt, to express my spiritual side and to share the love with others. I don’t think I even told any of my friends until it reached 1K and as it was, it was only my really really close ones. It’s the age old story, fear of judgement, fear of failure but that’s one thing that this page has certainly taught me, we’re all unique and we’re all ok just the way we are! When your awakening, people judge and they judge harshly. I still keep a lot of it to myself as I’m still trying to get my own head around it. When I’ve worked it out I’ll be sure to share it all with you.
Although I’m still on this healing journey, who knows if I’ll ever get back to where I was. If not, that’s ok, that’s the journey that’s meant for me. You have to accept it. I think when you surrender to your journey all your anxiety subsides. You realise you don’t really have a choice, as I say to the kids we’re all born and we all die, just at different times. I don’t want them to fear death and live with the fear of living. I want them to truely live. Appreciate every day and cherish the moments. To be grateful for every day that they have and choose kindness. To be genuine human beings and live with love. That’s what I wish for and that’s all I ask….
More on mindfulness here>>> Reconnecting
Check my Instagram here >>> @thegypsy.mumma